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1.Visualisation

- Try to picture the events as a REALITY and not just as a day dream. Make it real for you!

HOW TO VISUALISE:

The relaxation movie

To help you relax , close your eyes and take yourself to a safe tranquil place. Bring into your mind all that is soothing about this location.
Picture as much detail as you can -- colours, light and shadow, sounds, smell. Reach out and touch things around you . Create a safe calm haven, where you can be at peace.

It might be:

1.Lying on a beach-
Feel the warmth of the sun.Hear the waves lapping onto the shore.Touch the sand under your fingers.

2.Walking in a garden-
Smell the perfume.See the colours.Soak up the peace.Sitting next to a waterfall Listen to the roar.Watch the way it flows, Taste the clear fresh water.

3.Floating in a blue pool-
Feel the water supporting you.Hear the far-off sounds.Abandon yourself to floating.

2. WORRY TIME

-Allocate 1 hour a day for worrying. This is the time when you can give full flight to all the concerns and cares that you normally allow to nag at you all day. Be very firm about this.

If you find yourself worrying outside of the appointed hour, remind yourself that you cant be bothered by this now, youll deal with it later during worry time, and then youll give it your full attention.

A funny thing tends to happen during the WORRY HOUR. You usually dont feel like WORRYING!

3. MEDITATION

Regular meditation is a very powerful tool in helping to promote a better understanding of yourself, a more peaceful attitude and a lower stress level.

Its positive impact on mental and physical health has been well documented, and it is especially helpful for anxiety sufferers!

Several health institutions have introduced meditation programs for sufferers of anxiety, terminal illness and chronic pain, for example.

All of us have meditated without calling it that. It occurs when we switch off. The term lost IN thought we are actually allowing thoughts to occur, without any emotional attachment to them.This allows Anxiety sufferers to distance themselves from the endless internal chatter that comes with anxious thoughts and constant worrying.

Our minds can truly rest and, ofcourse, our bodies can, too.This builds confidence as we know that we can control our fears by relaxing past them, and quietly arrive at solutions to our own problems, by allowing these insights to occur to us.

Daydreaming is a form of meditation, when we drift off, letting our thoughts float where they will.

Meditation is natural, easy and available to all, at any time.

4. HOW, NOW?

- You cant change the past. Its done. What you can change is how you view the past from the present.

How do you choose to see the past???Your past may have been miserable, true, but how many times more cruel have you been to yourself since then? If we never had challenges, made mistakes or tried new things, how would we ever grow, ever learn? Go ahead and make mistakes. Everybody does. Goof it up! Then LET IT GO.

If you hadnt had to deal with an awkward situation you would have learned NOTHING. Give yourself a break! Maybe you didnt have the knowledge or experience that you needed to get it right first time. Well now you do, by MAKING A MISTAKE! Others who have helped from your past may have been equally uninformed or unevolved!

FORGIVE THEM! Does it help you to hold a grudge?The future is unknown. You may as well imagine it in a favourable light. Who knows? Todays loss may simply clear the path for greater gain! You don’t know that it wont!

Again, how do you CHOOSE to visualise the future? How can you be sure that this was the only man/woman for you? The best job youll ever have?

Go back to visualisations for a moment. Create a movie about your future, as you would like it to proceed, from here. See yourself grieving for your loss, then dusting yourself off, looking around you and seeing a whole new option emerge.

Perhaps, in the end, this transition has nothing to do with outside factors (a spouse, a job, etc). Perhaps its something important that youre discovering about YOU that you can use to create a better future.

5. THE NUCLEAR WAR THEORY

-What picture does this conjure up? Death, destruction, total annihilation? The end of all life as we know it? Its hard to imagine anything worse, isn’t it? And yet, most of u, at some time or other, have built up being late for an appointment into something almost as catastrophic in our own minds!If your guests are late, if the dinner burns, if your car breaks down, even if something BAD happens, ask yourself the old question. IS IT THE END OF THE WORLD???Again, it is how you choose to see it. If you perceive something as being a disaster, then thats how it will feel to you. Lets look at the burnt dinner example:

You could:
(A) Spend the entire night sulking or embarrassed and have everyone feeling uncomfortable OR
(B) Make a joke, order a pizza and enjoy an evening where everyones relaxed by your humour.

Ask yourself: Whats important? Really important? The company of your friends or Cordon Bleu cookery? Its done (even if like a dinner!). Relax. It DOESNT MATTER.

6. LET GO

-Often its our attachment to outcomes, results or ideals that creates the greatest stress on us. This is the word SHOULD at its most damaging. For Instance:

(A) I SHOULD be well by now! <<< By which standard? If you’re not, you’re not! Pull up your sleeves, there’s clearly more work to do for now!

(B) I SHOULD have found the right woman by now! <<<< Well, you haven’t, so maybe you need to just focus on feeling good about yourself by yourself, for now.

(C) He SHOULD have called by now! <<<< Why because you have decided that he should? If he hasn’t, he hasn’t. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to, but it could mean that.

Guessing will only tie you in knots. Let it go. By expecting things to go in a certain way, we let ourselves in for disappointment if our plans are not realised. What if your plans were flexible? What if you let go of expectations?

Lets take a fresh look:

(A) I guess it takes as long as it takes! Thinking about when it will stop all the time just keeps it going.

(B) Well, I could see myself as lonely or alone. There’s a big difference!

(C) I’m going out. If he calls, there’s the answering machine. Meanwhile, I’ll have fun! Be FLEXIBLE. Take the pressure off yourself and others. By letting go, a whole new, even better experience may open to you.

7. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE

-Most of us have wanted to achieve something and have been prepared to make sacrifices to get it.

Perhaps you wanted to lose weight. This became your priority. In order to do this, you were prepared to give up your favourite foods.

In other words, losing weight promised rewards that outweighed your current displeasure. If you make your recovery your goal and stay attuned only to achieving that end, your current problems will be seen as only a means to an end. There is a Buddhist saying: if you focus on the light, the darkness falls away. This means that you don’t really have to do anything about the bad things. If your whole attention is on being OK, then NOT being OK doesn’t exist! And there is another saying: where attention goes, energy flows. In other words, whatever you concentrate on, will also be what your energy is concentrated on.

What a waste of all that energy, if your focus is on your fear, pain or anger!

Refocus your attention onto achievement. By committing all your energy to that, courage will follow, enthusiasm will follow, the right help will follow, and the necessary knowledge will follow, because you will be OPEN to it! These things exist for you already, just as pain and suffering exist! You just don’t see them, because fear has put the blinkers on! Reach out! Take them!

8. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

-Words are the fuel for your emotions.

Look at this word:

POWER

Now try this word:

FEAR

And finally, this word:

LOVE

All the three words are way very strong. Did you notice how each word made you FEEL? That they did stimulate some emotion as you read them? Go back and read them again, focussing on how each word affects you emotionally.

Words are not just harmless toys. They are what our BELIEFS are built on. They are the fuel for our emotions.

9. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

- This is YOUR life. This is YOUR reality. If you don’t like what’s in the script, change it.

- You are responsible for your thoughts, your feelings, your actions.

You can take responsibility right now, in the choices you make about the way you see yourself and your life with it.

Just as you are responsible for yourself, so are others for themselves.
So it is not your role or responsibility to make decisions for anyone else, or to settle their issues, or even to rescue them. By all means care about others, but by helping them to know their own truth in their own way, just as you are doing. Stop living for others and start living for yourself.

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